06 Mar

Da Ugly Phase

Da ugly phase

Once upon a time in a suburban neighborhood near you, there lived a beautiful young woman with a head full of long luxurious relaxed hair. Everyone just admired how bouncy and shiny her hair seemed; to many, her hair was “laid to the gawds” but in actuality her hair was “laid to rest”. Finally, she mustered up the courage on a beautiful sunny summer day to grab the scissors and cut it all off. Yes, the beautiful long relaxed hair was now a bald head fade and she felt free!!! Screaming at the top of her lungs, “FREE AT LAST… free at last, Thank God I am free at last from the creamy white crack!!!” she called everyone she could think of to tell the news, every social network including Myspace knew that the young woman, we will call her Elaine, had transition from the relaxed social class and earned her spot in the natural community by sealing the deal with the infamous “big chop”. Elaine was officially a natural and she loved it…until. Elaine flaunted her natural fade by wearing the boldest earring and most festive garments; she was truly “not her hair” as the natural beauty India Arie describes her own big chop. As time progressed, so did Elaine’s hair; transitioning from the freshly cut fade to a cute little curly top to the phase no one likes, “da ugly phase” doom doom doom.




So as you guys know, we naturals have all battled with the ugly phase at some point or we know someone that is going through it at this very moment but I am here to tell you, it is not the end of the world. You will be beautiful when it’s all over. As naturals we all envision this “good” grain of hair with the perfect “wet and go” “all I will do is add water” some of say. The Shirley temple curl pattern and the “I woke up like this” look every day. I just want you to stop because sometimes we get carried away on how we perceive ourselves by looking at other naturals; yes we are all guilty of following natural hair women and even kids on social networks and coming down with a bad case of “hair envy”. Well lets jus have this come to Jesus meeting now and not wait until later on in this piece. First thing first, there is no such thing as “bad hair” hair is hair, some just may have a better grain then others but all hair types, no matter if it’s kinky knotty to soft and wavy can be grow.




Secondly, you are beautiful no matter what stage or phase your hair may be in; it’s ok to not know what to do with your hair, that the great thing about being natural…experiment. “da ugly phase” does not mean you have to be ugly it just means your hair is at a stage that you are not accustom to, You know why? I am glad you asked. You have never been natural before, therefore, you don’t know how to handle what I like to call, the “Esther Rolle” bush, and yes I said it: God rest her soul, I loved her on Good Times but anyway, yes we can’t handle that look. The Ester Rolle’s or to use a little tact the notorious Cookie bush, is not our bestie; we despise it and everything that goes along with it. So at this point you separate the true naturals from the wannabes. A true natural sticks it out and embraces her hair while the wannabes revert back to what they came from, the creamy crack but in my Whitney Houston voice, “ crack is wack and I aint going back” The ugly phase is nature’s way of testing how enthralled you are in your appearance. Some of us begin to question ourselves, saying, “Is it really worth it?” “Does this look even fit me?” “Am I beautiful?” and to all three the answer is YES.




Yes it is worth it… yes the style looks great on you…and yes you are beautiful. Even some of our favorite natural hair bloggers have gone through this phase, some are not bold enough to admit it and some will air the dirty laundry but going through this phase is nothing to be ashamed of, yes your big chop may have started off like Jada Pinkett from Jason’s Lyric then ran its course to Macy Gray but guess what, it does not stop there. A phase is only a cycle of change; change that we all go through. Hair does not make you it only accents your beauty; therefore, you are beautiful with or without it. Embrace every strain, every kink and every curl; because when God designed you He also designed the strain molecules of your hair and just to let you know, if you didn’t know, everything God does is perfection. This piece is design to encourage women of all ages to embrace their beautiful crown, the crown that our Heavenly Father has provided you with.  Embrace. Empower. Emulate true beauty.



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